31 5 / 2012
it has been a while
since I last penned anything down. hmm scrape that, what i meant was actually, translating anything remotely related to myself from pieces of broken images which circulate endlessly in my head to decipherable words. but nevertheless, this is what i am thinking now:
what have i missed out in the last 18 months? could i have better utilised my time for my friends and family? maybe i would have travelled more, maybe i would have gotten my diving license by now, maybe i would have been an excellent trainee, maybe i would have made more new friends, maybe i would have been happier?
in another parallel universe of my current life, maybe, i would have done all of that. but in this universe, just this particular one, i have chosen the harder path because inherently i always believed that nothing worth keeping would come easy. and honestly, it sucks. i don’t think life is meant to be This hard. life is hard, so why make it harder for ourselves? the irony of this is that i see myself repeating the above to everyone else, like as though it is some great epiphany that i have attained from past experiences i had, but the truth is, i have never practiced that in my life.
i guess all these probably sound really sappy to anyone who is reading it. and maybe in another 18 months’ time, i will look back and cringe over the ridicule i have created out of myself. but i can’t deny,at this very moment, that i am upset, that i am heart broken, that i wish i could turn back time, take back a lot of words i have said and things which i wish i have never done. i am tired of expressing myself in cryptic sentences and i am tired of complicated matters. so here it is. all of these. the closest to bare-naked-raw emotions that i could possibly express.
life really shouldn’t be This hard, should it?
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26 5 / 2012
"It was him not fighting for me. I gave him the ultimatum and he let me walk away. I didn’t want a life separate from him, and thats all he could give me. It’s like he’s driving a car and I just want to be in the passenger seat. He’s locked the door and I have to hold onto the bumper. I am not even asking him to open the door for me, just leave it unlocked and say come in, but he didn’t do that. So I am hanging on to the bumper and life goes on. And the car goes on and I get really badly bruised and I’m hitting potholes and it hurts, it really hurts. so yesterday I had to let go of the bumper because it hurts too much."
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28 4 / 2012
Trafalgar Square and all that is London… may you have a weekend full of long walks with meaningful people.
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09 4 / 2012
Angus and Julia Stone - Big Jet Plane [Official Music Video] (by NettwerkMusic)
09 4 / 2012
Art!
Live,Love,Learn
48x72” ink and enamel on canvas!
par Antoine Jouet
*Sold
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09 4 / 2012
The art was a sad reminder of a destination that they’d never reach as a couple.
(Photo: Jason Schmidt; NY Times)
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14 3 / 2012
Snow Patrol Reworked - You Could Be Happy Live at the Royal Albert Hall (by FeliciaYT)
Have been playing this on loop for the past week and frankly, I am loving this more and more each time I listen to it.
Dying to go back to London.
13 3 / 2012
(9gag:Table Flipping Arcade Game)
2243. Japanese Table Flipping Game. HAHA Why flip a real table when you can play this game?
Must flip a real table, in a restaurant no less, and create a big scene out of nothing, at some point in life. Noted.
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